fvming:

People who can keep their cool when being told off or made fun of are not to be messed with

fvming:

People who can keep their cool when being told off or made fun of are not to be messed with

human:


a hole

human:

a hole

lilhungrymane:

theantiherooftime:

A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.


she was standing like how ppl stand when theyre waiting to get hit by a train lol

lilhungrymane:

theantiherooftime:

A number one dad, ten out of ten, Dad of the year, gettin laid all year this year, best dad ever, you did it.

she was standing like how ppl stand when theyre waiting to get hit by a train lol

zacwells:

Scooby Doo is the most useless member of the scooby doo team why is the show named after him, the show should be called Velma

fujisalci:

inkcaviness:

the-lonely-scottish-guy:

silent-cannibal:

absolut-niemand:

In Germany we don’t say “I don’t care” we say “Das ist mir Wurst” which roughly translates as “This is sausage to me” I think that’s beautiful.

no you don’t understand we actually do say that

i crashed my car into a bridge

THIS IS SAUSAGE TO ME

We also say “That’s not my beer” for “That’s none of my buisness” and I think that’s beautiful

is germany even real

Nice things to whisper when hugging someone

yogurtville:

-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-soon
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-tonight….you.
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-yessssssssssssss
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this

sluttynuggets:

i hate the website weheartit??? you can hear tits??? do they even make noise???

fuckyeah-nerdery:

cranzerries:

cranzerries:

I dream to someday run a companies twitter

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Can we just talk about Smart Car doing math on how much bird shit it would take to damage their cars?